Dec 05 2008
Cheeseburger Charge
VERO BEACH, Fla - A Vero Beach man is accused of assaulting his girlfriend (multiple times) with a McDonald’s cheeseburger, according to his arrest affidavit.
The woman told the Indian River County Sheriff’s Office that she was sitting in a car in front of the home that she shares with Vincent Gonzalez, 22, of the 300 block of 12th Road. The couple began to argue, and Gonzalez would not allow her to leave the car, the report said. The woman threw Gonzalez’s drink out of the car’s open window. In response, Gonzalez grabbed the woman’s arm and forced her own cheeseburger into her face. Both of them stepped out of the vehicle, and again, Gonzalez smashed the cheeseburger into the woman’s face.
The deputies charged Gonzalez with battery domestic violence. He remains in the Indian River County Jail, in lieu of his $1,000.00 bail.
Blogger’s Comment: “What?! We /never/ have exciting crime like this where I live! There is so much that I want to write here. I have such conflicted emotions over this. A small, dark part of me wants this man to take his bail, and then skip town, if just to see the bounty hunter that takes /that/ job.”
OMG…food fight in the most literal sense. Waste of a perfectly good cheeseburger too….though I can tell my kids now that it’s a criminal offense to hit each other with their food.