Life is Tragic

Pop Star Madonna’s antics are lustful, a stain on humanity and offensive to God, a retired Roman Catholic Cardinal said on Wednesday during a mass for the late Chilean military dictator General Augusto Pinochet. Before anyone could figure out why in the Hell he was talking about Madonna during a mass for the deceased General, he was going on to say, “”Thoughts of lust, impure thoughts, impure acts, are an offense to God and a dirty stain on our heart.”, Cardinal Jorge Medina tolda the gathering. (Translation: “She gave me an erection. I don’t even know what to do with this thing anymore.”)

Madonna performed in Santiago on the Latin American leg of her Sticky and Sweet Tour to promote her album ‘Hard Candy’.

Depending on which news article you’re reading, Medina also went on to say either this:

“The atmosphere in our city is pretty agitated because this woman is visiting and with incredibly shameful behaviour that provokes a wild, shameful and lustful enthusiasm!”

-or-

“This woman comes here and, in an incredibly shameless manner, she provokes a crazy enthusiasm, an enthusiasm of lust, lustful thoughts, impure thoughts.”

No matter which was said, both were proof that the Cardinal is a big fan of repeating the same word again and again. We here at Life is Tragic are absolutely horrified that the Material Girl herself, or her roughly 60,000 ravening minion-esque fans were not phased at all by the accusations of one of the region’s most prominent religious leaders, that she was more or less corrupting the minds –and the loins– of the nation.

This isn’t the first time that ‘Her Madgesty’s‘ act has managed to draw down the ire of God’s irreproachable hounds, either. Some of the antics from her massively successful Blond Ambition tour in 1990 – including simulated masturbation on stage – angered Pope John Paul II so much that he publicly condemned the singer’s ‘unholy’ performance

Maybe I’m being picky, but with all of the face work she’s had done, wouldn’t you think she could clean up that nasty gap between her teeth?

 Blogger’s Comment: “This would have been up earlier, except that I discovered that my internet is a living, breathing entity with a mind and an opinion all it’s own. That said - Madonna. Ew. As I sit here and write this, my good online friend Michelle asks me, ‘Don’t you think the tooth gap observation is a little harsh? I sort of have one’ - To which I replied, ‘No. Because you’re not rich, and I don’t have to look at your face every day.’”